What happened when my daughters read one of my blogs
I started blogging about 6 months ago as a side hobby. Originally, my goal was to mostly write about health.
When I first started changing my diet, I was met with a lot of skepticism from everyone around me, and I felt like I had nobody to share this life-changing information with so I turned to writing. It was a way for me to share my new found passion with the world whoever that might be.
Since then, I have written quite a few on health but I have also been including stories about my life experiences especially on motherhood. I started out writing about once a week while still working full time as a business owner. Even though my blogs are usually only about 5 -8 minutes long, it's amazing how much energy and time goes into writing. I'm not sure if it's just me, but it usually takes me about 15 -25 hours to write one post and sometimes even longer depending on the topic.
I usually start with a very rough draft by writing down all my thoughts. Even though I have a general idea of what I want to write about when I first start writing, it usually ends up being quite different by the time I finish. It's always a struggle to find the right words to express my feelings and it never comes easy. Most of the time, it can feel pretty daunting and darn discouraging all at the same time.
Once I come up with a rough draft, I usually spend a day or two re-reading the rough draft numerous times to find new words and stories to add. It's almost like cooking (at least the way I cook). I have a general idea of what I want to write about (a dish), my rough drafts are filled with words and thoughts I want to use in my story (ingredients). Finally, I fine tune my writing by adding just the right words and expressions (spices). Then, I usually let my writing simmer meaning I take days reading it over and over again waiting for the words and ideas to click (this can take days for me).
Honestly, I try not to think about who's reading or how many audiences I have. Since I never had any formal training, I constantly struggle with my confidence and have a lot of doubt about myself as a writer. So, I try to just focus on what I'm writing about, and my topics come up randomly depending on what I'm going through at the time. So, sometime last year around December, I wrote about a hurtful experience I had when I felt like my daughters were no longer interested in my homemade pot stickers. I never thought, four months later, my daughters would read it and be moved by it.
It was Sunday night and as usual, I was expecting my daughters to come home from their dad's house around 8 pm. Around 7pm, I received a text from my older daughter, Hannah, to let me know that she was going meet some friends over at boba place and would be home later. I later found out that this is when Hannah had discovered my post about the pot stickers.
She and her friends were over at boba place (their favorite hangout) when she mentioned to one of her friends about my blogging website. Her friend asked if he could check it out. So, my daughter went on my website and was scrolling through when this particular post caught her attention. It had a picture of her when she was about 7 years old taken in front of the train station one cold morning. She had read one of my early blogs I had posted about 4 months ago titled "I was my daughter's hero once.." The blog was about me reminiscing about the precious times I had shared with my girls when they were younger and feeling hurt when I thought they didn't enjoy my homemade pot stickers anymore.
Before her friend could read it, she said she read it first and was saddened by the hurt she had unknowingly caused, and brought tears to her eyes. She advised her friend not to read it because as she said it, it was "uber sad". She immediately text her younger sister about the blog who was at her friend's house at the time. After reading it herself, Ally text me and said "I'm sorry mom. We still love ur pot stickers". She also said it was "very well written".
I've been blogging for about six months now but I had never ever thought my daughters would read any of my blogs. I was flattered and happy beyond words. I had never expected such a positive feedback from my teenage daughters about my writing. It was the best compliment I could've ever asked for, and it meant more to me than they would ever know.
As Hannah was telling me this story that Sunday night after coming home, she reassured me that she, like Ally, still loved my pot stickers and never wanted to hurt my feelings by not eating them as much as they used to. She said they were "depressed" after reading my story because it had made them feel like they had hurt me, and they were very sorry.
Next day I was in the kitchen as usual making my breakfast and getting my lunch ready for work, Ally came down and gave me a big hug and so did Hannah. They usually do this on a regular basis but today was different. It was a hug that said "we really love you mom and you mean so much to us" hug. Not only that, they gave me a second hug as they walked out the door to go to school. They were the kind of hugs that melt your heart, and at that moment, I felt like the luckiest mom in the whole wide world.
As I got ready for bed that Sunday night after listening to my girls tell me how my story had touched them so deeply, I realized what it really means for me to write and why I do. Knowing that it had somehow touched my girl's lives in a way I can only imagine meant more to me than anything I can ever think of. It meant the world to me to hear those loving words of encouragement and reassurance from my daughters. This is what I needed to feel worthwhile and to keep on writing.
Was it really a well written story? Maybe or maybe not but according to my daughters, it was and to me, that's all it matters. Thanks to my girls, I'm encouraged to continue writing whoever my audience might be.